BiKarnival (Performance Ride)


~P'land by the Hair of our Chinny Chin Chin~


plop in the middle of bikemonth, 3 foolhardy adventurbikers decide to abandon the vancouver fray & head to portpromisedland for the multnomah county bike fair. by nix, ifny & midnight simon
~dedicated to the red furball~
now surely skinned & quartered in the filthy hands of various tweakerish villains

FRIDAY june 23rd 2000 & 6
naturally we got a little late start, since it would be downright uncanny not to. after the usual fits & starts we got on the highway, slipped through the border without incident & sped along until we hit...
seattlegridlock inallit's monstrousglory o"o o"o o"o oVo o:":o O"O o"o oVo o:":o O"O o"o

saw plenty of rvs towing suv's, a new & exciting trend from the deth factory. hit the convenience store, bought a 24 ounce beer cannon with cars onnit, sparks, tilt, liquor so cheap it's basicalistically free, 99 cents per. we were hot thirsty trapped in a car with nothing to do but toast our fellow car slaves in seattle car kebab.

we rolled up in time to snag free grub at the hostel international, where they were having a bike-in movie night. couldn't seem to get away from the crew back home, up there in celluloid glory (pedal play documentary! yay!). we were rowdy & excitateraterd. hooked up with momentum amy dreamcycle darren & the ever effluvescent colin mackenzie.

ppl were gearing up for the pirate ride. we ran into agent lapis, decked out as a pirate princess, layers of orange fuschia and purple seafoam. standard deviation greeted us on the turf.

hostel mc adventure shawn passed the mic to ifny, who did a shout out to team canada & sent out gobs of ambassadorial bikelove to portland. as a result earl from new brunswick found us. he's a fine chappie & worthy ally, living in london but toodling our continent at the moment.

amy the mothra queen joined our forces; we crammed into the car for another hour of cartillery; got to the nightmare collective near the witching hour. it's a working space in forest grove with some proto sprokettes, dogs, painted buses, clowns of all shapes & sizes, musicians in every corner, a trapeze & red scarves, & best of all a dog in a red tutu who howled along with the accordionist. the back was a land of clown buses, replete with fire in a barrel. a fretless banjo player & a singer were hanging by the busses, waiting for a sign to go on stage. well wouldn't you know it but at that moment a big flashlight came out of the bushes bearing a cop, then another and another, like the old shtick where clowns just keep piling out of a tiny car...they were summarily chastised by nightmare damsels. while this was going on, ifny jammed with the gypsy klezmer old tyme jump jazz band until the coast was clear. piano fiddle accordion singing banjo guitar. the alberta clowns performed a clown wedding replete with joust. (turbo won the lady) (& as it turns out, ifny didn't break pinga's nose wayback during mini-bike winter after all! o happy day!). we danced like electric eels, slept in an ewok village 4 to a bed (rolling out one by one). simon says "don't hang your favourite sweatshirt on the freerack" o dear.

next morning 5 of us headed back to p'land with pit stops for raspberries & fireworks.

went to kiran's, got ifny a foldy loaner bike, found a giant b'fast diner with cheap great alien art & a curvy comfy booth for sitting, met a coptic christian wanderer & an unfamiliar vancouverite. the waitress read our minds & deposited our very own carafe of coffee on the table for nursing.

then it was off to the multnoma county bike fair!! we signed in as judges, got beer for our water bottles, met up with ayleen minifixie mark gabe dave elicia lapis everybody!! we ran right into the dead babies: jackie soren stephanie tallbiketerry, master bear ken & woody onnis swingbike. read

we missed the slow bike race, but ifny represented in the eating contest on a mini banana bike she scammed from the clowns. you had to ride in circles, eating your way through different courses that were handed to you. a doughnut, a banana, a bag of cheezies, a cup of spaghetti, a cheez whiz cracker snak pac. stupidly she grabbed a cake doughnut & spent an eternity choking it down. she only made it to the spaghetti course by cheating & was beat fair & square by everybody else.

simon grabbed a free helmet from the handout stand, soaked up the p'land bike love. did bike themed shopping patches buttons & scored a fab knitted cozy (top-tube tubetops) made by amelia b from handmade guerilla crafts (likeitfixed AT turns out she was in one of simon's classes at ubc back in the day. small world as we all know too well.

bands all the way through, then it was time for the unicycle joust!!

trackstand with fixies & a tandem with an extra kid on the back.

nix walked up to some hot biker chicks wearing black & white stripes, said "nice style, we dress the same." they hit it off, turns out they were the freakin dirty bitch brigade, affiliates of the recyclistas from victoria, on the island of sin...frances & crew were dressed to slay & we were punched as please to exchange props & pleasantries.

footdown derby, ifny made 2nd place two times (always a bridesmaid, never the bride).

more bands played while she wrestled the rev; turns out he's a hella dirty fighter (no surprise). it was a draw as he had her in an ear lock while she freely picked his nose.

then it was time for the sprockettes, in hot pink glory! new numbers, blowing us away with crazy hotness. 15 strong, pink & black flashes of blazing saddles. nix's voice was destroyed screaming for mercy...the whole thing was captured on viddy thanks to dav-ed & jim's gracious loan of camera. viewing party tba.

nix shmoozed the 'ketts, hollered her head away & just looked generally absolutely fabulous.

tallbike jousting ensued. ifny looked mean but sucked hard. dead baby ken looked mean & didn't suck at all! in fact he was the champignon!

after the fair was over, the dead babies went off & did a special foreigners bomb.

simon was expiring from low blood sugar so we walked into the first place we found, cafe outlaw sompin sompin, replete with a bullriding machine & hard rockin tunes.

moved our shite to the lovely & funky & generous & radiggist elicia's apt. made our way labouriously through the city, sans guide, to christophe's unofficial mcbf afterparty in a four floor apt building. in our recollection the party seemed to occupy the entire building. we blame sparks for mistakes & o-missions. the band was guys with megaphones & tape deck & some keyboard (that they transport in bike trailers) playing in the laundry room. drenched dancing madness. we retired to the roof where the dirty bitch brigade led a stomping snapping rhythm jam. then it was time for more impromptu wrestling in an empty apartment inna dark. ifny took down zoobomber felix in a tough match of moves vs. will (she later discovered a clump of beard hair in her watch strap that can only be attributed to his face). then she was picked up & thrown to the rug by this suped-up ultimate wrestling honey, who then demolished felix & a couple other chappies. turns out she's rocco's jenn, who had offered us a crash pad sight unseen before we'd even left vancouver. (she works at rocco's pizza, where the zoobombers meet). she's promised to come up & whip the rest of vancouver if anyone dares...better start training now...

captain fun, phil & minifixie mark escorted us home, & mark was superoutrageously generous to lend ifny his minifixie (in freewheel mode) to ride home on. supafast!!! he even offered it up for the zoobomb!

we crashed at elicia's, & turns out she's a newlywed, just married the bike of her dreams. pro photos will be posted when avail.

brunch at the hostel, we arrived ON TIME which was commented on by all. shawn's famous bodum coffee juice eggs oregon strawberries gabe's hair of the dog whiskey & hashed browns.

then it was time for THE BEACH. we got on the road, dead babies, elicia, phil, gabe, sara, earl, vanilla will from the hostel. champion ken was the kindest bestest soul to gift ifny with his incredible magical tallbike for the day aaughgh! her first time on a tall bike where someone wasn't trying to knock her off with a lance. she took the opportunity to graze from lowhanging branches & lean on her first suv.

stopped at a thrift shop to buy a bikini for amy & a team jersey for nix to blend in with the locals

we got kicked off the max, so we biked all the way. good riddance because we got to ride through some new neighbourhoods & had way more fun. as it turns out, not everyone in portland is white. who woulda thunk! we also saw a memorial to japanese americans interned during WWII, shinto shrine sacred arches hung with strings of detainees' dogtags that tinkled eerily in the breeze.

it was hot, did we mention that?! 42 degrees. eff!

dead baby stephanie kept her cool throughout, no shoes no bra no compromise

just before the beach we stopped at a convenience store. ifny, ever fickle, decided that bikes were too slow & tried to hitch. traffic dissed her until a huge 18 wheeler screeched on the brakes...she hopped on & told the kind hearted gent that she just wanted to say hi & drive safe. they chatted for a bit about his suped-up chromed-up rig & then with a toothless grin the trucker headed back on the road again.

~hothothothothothothothothothothothotohothothothothothothothothothothothothothothot~ EFFF

then blessed be, we hit the beach. it being amurika we had to wear clothes. (n.b. duct tape pasties look great but don't last long in cool water)

we played frisbee, throw the apple, & poopie pants with mud. gabe & ken & ifny tried to blow up gabe's pirate ship kite with firecrackers. they were successful! especially after they decided to spare the jolly roger for another day...

then it was off to play the notorious b.i.k.e. p.o.l.o. phil gave agent lapis' bike a flat tire, so we had a good old fashioned safety meeting on an off-ramp, replete with tilt, sparks & belly button warm guiness (which made it onto phil's face cuz he was provoking the crowd). the tire was worn right through, omg whatever should we do?! you guessed it: red duct tape onna inside. for ifny it was kind of like when your dog dies & you give the rest of his food to some other dog. it is as it should be, & so be it.

we got to polo real late so the action was in full swing. we found the alberta clown house on route to buy the giantest bestest fajitas burritos enchiladas ever, & pinga the clown joined us. all of us were burned & sanded & poopie pantsted. we met tad of chunk & we had a good chat about carcass & bozkashi & severed headballs. ifny played anarchist polo with some other bikers including a rad 12 year old kid. the score was 1-1-1-0-0. then she rode a really big fixie, her first time & boy was it like riding a spooked horse!

poor amy had a flat, then another flat, then after we set off, another flat! she didn't make it to zoobomb, which means she'll have to come down to p'land & rock the hill some other time!

then it was time to zoobomb. but damnit, there was no time to pick up mark's rad mini, so all us big bikes rode straight over to rocco's. on the way to the hill it was time to say goodbye to the dead babies. we'll see them again at the dead baby downhill, august 4, come hellahighwata!

the pile was puny so we headed up to the max station. but crikey! there was a brown-out so the max's all sucked. simon lay down on the platform to rest until a very concerned max driver got off to check his vitals. what kind of friends would we be, standing around making conversation while our pal lay there dead? geez, he was only partially dead...finally we managed to get up to ol GB, where everyone was chillin.

this was nix’s second zoobomb. Her first was during winter mini-olypics on Liz’s minitall. This time, on her regular bike, she took it faster! By this night, word that the canadians were there spread and many of the zoobombers who have not met MC3/Vancity ambassadors before wanted to chat about bike culture and life up north. Nix promised canada would refuge them when shite hits the fan.

since shannon radiant sprokette wasn't bombing OG, she passed her winky hot pink bike over to ifny. it was dark as all hell, & since she started last, she got to do it without any little red blinkies to follow, like riding a gorilla through the mist...

best of all, it was simon's first zoobomb! here's what he has to say for himself:

I've got to say, I was a little disappointed not to get to do the zoobomb on a mini bike. But only a little for two reasons- it was a rush to get to push my roadbike (my baby!) about as fast as she's ever gone before (in pitch freaking blackness, might I add), and missing the mini aspect of the bomb motivated me to acquire my own mini about two seconds after returning to vancouver so as to never have that problem again.

So the zoobomb. For those unfamiliar with this amazing portland ritual, I'll lay it out from the beginning. You get on the Max train, destined for Washington/Zoo station - a train station located in the centre of, essentially, a small mountain (think Burnaby mountain as a reasonable reference). The first thing you notice is that the train is packed (packed) to the rafters with bikers. well, not just bikers, but bikers with teeny, tiny little mini bikes. After some delay (I found out later that this might have been a new and intentional to try and discourage the zoobombers), the train takes you into the mountain where you go to Zoo station, where you disembark and load into one of four massive elevators (even more packed with bikers than the trains).

Exiting the elevators at the top of the mountain (the location of the zoo, from which the zoobombers draw their name) we are greeted with calles of "Zuh-Zuh-Zuh- ZOO-BOMB" from farther up a windy road. It is explained to me that this is where the bombers are massing, and they are calling out to stragglers to indicate which run down the hill they are going to take. We ride up to the mass where everyone is sitting, chilling, drinking, getting lights on, and otherwise preparing for the bomb. Finally, when the mass has reached peak size we line up - the bikes with the smallest wheels in the front, followed by the larger, larger, largest.

We start - the hill is steep, the road windy, the tree cover: TOTAL. it is pitch fucking black, and I am tilted downhill at an angle that feels like it must be at least 6-8 degrees. I separate from one of the many packs that are distributed along the road and find myself falling forward faster and darker. A rider appears in front of me about 30 meters ahead, and I match speed with him, gauging where the dips and turns in the road are by the ebb and flow of his single tail light. my heart pumps and adrenaline rushes. "GATE!" bombers ahead yell to warn us of a gate blocking the road. we slow, navigate around the obstacle, and resume speed, after being turned to an alternate route to avoid the 'pepper' who are out looking to make, perhaps, some arrests. Soon we're back at the Max station, gathering up and getting ready for another run.

Back to the top for some more socializing before the last bomb of the night. Reverend Phil gives me some beer, playing the good host. I see a kid who can't be more than 17 with a chipped tooth showing off with his hot white road bike. wheelies that last a good 10 meters. steep stalls on the front tire. I'm impressed. A friendly security guard stops us right before we leave to give someone the toolkit they lost somewhere - the police might not be so fond of the zoobomb, but the zoo staff seem to have no problems with it. We bomb. The road is less dark this time, but more fraught with obstacles - after navigating several gates we arive at the highway, and prepare to drop its steepest section. "Watch out," someone warns "there was some construction ahead, so we might be limited to one lane." Down we go, gaining speed and rounding a bend in the highway. Construction ahead - car stopped. one lane? no - no lanes - the one open lane of opposing traffic is blocked by a dump truck barreling towards us - Brakes! skid, out of the oncoming lane and past a furious trafic control guy- "STOP! FUCKING STOP!" we do - as we are now blocked by what turns out to be a completely dug up road, complete with hard working midnight road crew.

Most of the zoobomb mass is behind us with the irate trafic control guy - the woman who has stopped me and 3 or 4 others is much more pleasant. the road is closed all night we're told - and there's no other way out but up the hill. we negotiate. "could we not all just join up into one group - you guys stop the trucks for 1 minute, and we'll pass by and be out of your hair?" -- "let me talk to my foreman." We're cleared. down, down, down the highway and back into the downtown core.

I'm hooked.

right on simon! we asslute you!

after that, team canada, DBB tallbiketerry, raven, red-track-biker, blond road biker, plus tourguide phil went for side door donuts at the temple of Voodoo. we accidentally hooked up with a mad rollerblader multimediator & headed to colonel sumner's park for a little more r & r. then nix & simon headed home while terry phil & ifny went dumpster divin, to little avail awww

inna am it was coffee at freegeek's favourite spot, then onto the road. earl tagged along till olympia, when we hugged him goodbye to the strains of 'don't you forget about me' breakfast club soundtrack. earl is like that, perfection all around, just like his moustache.

stopped for last delicious mexican food on the way back. the roads were easy peasy & we made it to our beds in no time.

p'land, you are truly the blessed isle. we so enjoyed, as so expected, the hot city, the hot bikers, the hot-spitality & the piled on bikesicle luvvin. Y!A!Y!

you can read bikeportland's account of mcbf & see pics too.
colin m.'s photos are up on flickr
our pics will be up soon...

Hey Folks


If you ae checking in all vicarious like

watch for word on the MC3 M25 weekend

Epic fer sure


Mini Bike Winter Weekend, 2006


Best Moment(s)… hard one to pinpoint; best just to start from the beginning.

Road trips are always a great way to start a crazy fun filled weekend, and two moments stand out in my mind on the trip down. Neither may sound cool to you, the reader, maybe you had to be there. One, Jim and I sitting in the back of Paul’s Van (go 100kmph down I5) sewing patches onto our shirts while drinking beer out of water bottles and eating beef jerky, now that good living. Two after Picking up JT and David, in Seattle, I switched to the Red Barren with the BC clettes after a few misleading turns we made it to the free way, not I5 but it got us going in the right direction, and I said it before “you had to be there”, Single Quarter Women, which lead to many good laughs yet to come.
PDX, at “The best house party ever” title not so much reality, though if all is well that ends well, then it was pretty dam good. While in the basement randomly chatting with P-town peeps a mini-bike jousting match breaks out between The RevPhil and friend, minus the mini-bikes and lances. So a Brazilian biker clown announces the match and they proceed to get a four foot walking start and collide somewhere near the middle and fall down. Not that this moment is not great enough on its own, but it is only the setup for the best moments of this night. So while this is all going down, not being a huge basement, The Bee (i.e. me) gets squashed up against the wall with Lady-bug, rapped in a full length faux-fur cocoon. We chat for a bit swap… stories, spit is yet to come, but the night is late and Team Canada is on the move, and I say it’s time for this Bee to find his bed at which point Lady-bug offers hers! Which is almost the best moment, almost…
After breakfast and a nice one hour self tour of NE Portland I meet back up with Team Canada and the zOO! bOMB!! Kids out side the Lloyd center mall for the first international mALL bOMB! Man what a rush the best part was with in minutes of entering the mall on our mini bikes, while dodging o-beast American shoppers telling us “hey you can’t ride bikes in here” for which we replied with a smile “yes we can we’re doing it”, a very large Security guard yells from the escalator “Drop your Bikes Right Now!!” Of course we did nothing of the sort and made a hard right riding even faster for the nearest exit. Thought by this time the ride had already broken up into at least three sub groups and a few rogue agents. After, we all regrouped and headed up the to the Zoo for a day time special edition Zoo Bomb for Team Canada and friends, fallowed by cheep-train-sushi and Portland’s oldest strip club. Then it was time to meet up with “Miss February” (Sarah) at Voodoo Daddy doughnuts, for her birthday ride before the Free Geeks party, Where we saw two twelve year old girls rock it out on top of the bath room and we got kicked out so two people could get married. After a bit of Birthday streamer-bike-tag-out and some awesome Geneses & Vanilla floats, we road on to the Free Geeks dance party.
High lights of the party; fashion does and don’ts, all were hot in there own way. The Feral Clown’s Danger Sideshow, starting with fireworks showering off the head of a Brazilian clown while other clown performed around him. Then there was a little game of “What’s UP YOUR ASS?!” Where we got to see three lovely ladies guess the object lightly wedged between their cheeks. Some how the last girl got it exactly right even down to the color, “orange sandal?” Then it was time for the midnight naked bike ride, remember it is February and freezing out. Needless to say, it was a shorter ride than usual, but not too short. Though as for best moment, that happen after the ride, we all ran back into the dance party, full of hot sweaty bikers, to warm up, each of us putting on as must or little clothing as we felt fit, then danced our asses off. For a good while I was dancing with the ladybug, she, wearing nothing more then her full length faux-fur blue coat, open, Oouch…
Mini Bike Winter 2006! Best Olympics ever! I took Sliver in Mini bike Whip-lash and I was one of the four Winners of the “Cupcake Challenge”, dam the Willamette is cold. Next up was the mini bike jousting where JT broke his nose on his opponent’s four-head to win round one. After a few more wicked, and a little dangerous, MBW events we were off to Free geeks for some Dumpster-dive-pizza and zoo BOMB! With a quick pit stop at the Portland bike library for some bike swapping, then Zoo BOMB! The whole think was so amazing that no one moment can stand out over another, but riding on to Highway 205 on a mini going 45mph (about 60kph) was pretty F-ing hot!


MC3 love bombs the ZooBomb


Mini Bike Winter 2006

Thirteen bikers in a three car convoy take I5 to Portland. After picking up our tourers in Seattle we arrive at the lovely Ayleens house and depart enmasse for the best house party ever and the start of an epic weekend of Bike love inthe heart of Bikeloveland.

What follows are some of the best moments as told by some of the MC3


So many memories, is there a favorite? The mall-run (with a wrecked rear wheel) was pretty spectacular. Turns out that empty parking esplanades are superb for bike tag, also a suitable location for Guinness floats. Free Geek throws a mean dance party, and Brazilian girls are even more beautiful when they fire-dance. I’m thankful that I didn’t shrivel up so much on the naked bike ride that the sock fell off – damn that was cold! I’m pretty pleased with my showing in the mini-bike jousting event, and learned that a big nose is an excellent last-resort means of unseating your opponent. The zoo-bomb itself was an amazing blend of intense concentration and sheer joy, and it’s quite possible that I reached my land-speed record on the Hell-way run.

Stiff competition between all these episodes, but I have to say that none of them really stands out as THE best moment. What does stand out though is the incredibly warm welcome we were given by everyone we came in to contact with down there. At every turn there was someone who was genuinely stoked that we’d come down, really a humbling sensation when such amazing people are so happy that we came to join them in a celebration. Here’s what it boils down to – if the MC3 has become my immediate family, then the ZooBombers and Sprockettes and Dead Babies and Buzzards have become my extended family.





So we arrived the evening of Portland's coldest Feb 24 ever. The next day
wasn't much warmer, which might explain why the mallbomb was so much fun and
relatively hassle free.

The parties and zoo-bombs were great fun! Ayleen and FreeGeek (and others I'm
sure) were awesome to us!

It was a good thing the steeple-chase was canceled, because it was so cold.
Thankfully it had warmed up somewhat for the cup-cake challenge. Which was
to ride down a steep ramp (low water in winter) to a floating dock and off
the end. (extra points for recovering the bike yourself) That was my
favorite part of the weekend.

I also like how we looked out for each other and no one got left behind.
Saturday night we even got home like we were being led by a local, good
communication, or so it seemed from the rear.

But the moment the summed it all up for me, happened today. The first time I
was on a 'normal' bike. I'm coming up on a red light at king ed and main,
and I backpedal my freewheel bike to try to slow, oops, that didn't work,
good thing my handbrakes work good! I'd only been riding the coaster-brake
bike for three days.

Chris B

chris has a brief "conversation" with a middle aged woman in the mall
that we rode through:
her: "is this critical mass?"
me: "no, but i'm sure some of the people here go in critical mass"
she walks away for a minute. then a minute later i start to leave and
she comes back over and stands right in front of where i'm walking to
take some pics and blocks me from moving. i stand for a minute
thinking she'll move. nothin.
me: "excuse me please"
her: "oh, am i in your way?"
me: "ya, why would you just come up and stand in front of me like that?"
her: "now you know how it feels like during critical mass"
me: "ya, but at least i asked and didn't just get mad at you and try
to knock you down"
her: "uh..."
me: "now i understand your motivations... have you ever asked anyone
at critical mass about their motivations?"
her: "uh..."
then i left.

chris has another conversation with an older woman (originally from
new york) in front of the sushi restaurant as we pulled up after the
daytime zoobomb:
"hey, is this those zoobombers?"
"you guys are great! we see them ride past our house and we think
it's really great."
good to see some people appreciate other people having fun.


Portland Yeah!

So MC3 is blogging about our trip to Portland for Mini Bike Winter 2006!!! Where the hell to begin....

I guess the highlight for me was the Saturday afternoon impromtu 'zoobomb'. The afternoon started with the 'mall bomb' which others already talked about. But the 'afternoon bomb' was the bomb. We had heard all about zoo-bombing and this was it... virgins no longer. We cruised up some hill on the MAX and it was so beautiful and sunny. Our fearless hosts gave us the 411 on safety and where to turn and not turn and BOOM we were off. We bombed through a great park and caught some views of Mt. Hood between the trees. It was so nice to be in a park after all our urban touring around. I was riding a mini chopper (not mini bike) and it proved to be a rad ride for bombing. Yeaaahhhhaaw. We made it down into the City with only one spill (b-Rad took out pol.B ) and headed for dollar sushi and burritos .

The next hightlight was seeing some clown with fireworks shooting out of his head at the Free Geek party. Cool. Fun dancing and lounging and OH YEAH. No wait second highlight is not the clown but having a little cuddle huddle with mr.grove and one rev.phil. HAH I got to have a threeway with the two cutest fellas ever. Needless to say we all came a way with some smooches.

Yeah hightlight.....mmmmm....

Okay one more highlight......AYLEEN!!!!!!!!!!! The best host ever. She let us call her pad home base for the whole weekend, putting up 9 stinky Canadians AND she made us a yummy breakfast on Saturday our first morning in PDX>>> Ayleen Rules!!!!

see you all in March right??

xxx Fish


While visiting Portland, we stayed with a supportive, tolerant
community of people willing to help and trust each other. In addition
to a place to sleep, our hosts fed us, helped us find our way, looked
out for us and above all, made us feel like family.

During that weekend, Vancouverites and Portlanders made their own
fun. They never once had to buy it.


my favorite moment that occurred on the first annual mini bike winter
Mc3 ambassadorial trip to portland in oregon in the united states of
america was when i got to eat and drink heineken vanilla ice cream
floats under freeways and this crazy guy said that it would actually
make me feel warmer in the cold oregon winter air and it actually did.
and then we rode bikes and stuff and that was cool as well also. .::DG::.


My best moments were the Bombs

First we got treated to a mall bomb then even better, a special canadian cherry bomb the OG the original bomb. We were led by Handsome Dave, to the Max then up the elevator and finally down through the park. It was mostly without mishap cept for a good spill by tall Pol. It was cool to be a part of this getting the lowdown and history from all the ZooBomb riding with us.

Sunday nite after the MBW it was time for the real deal. After hanging out in the park on top of the hill, it was time for the New Bomb. Holy crap was it fun. Maitland our warrior of the weekend was called to the front lines and we were off. I had been waiting two years for this. Our last visit to Portland for the Chunkathalon was to include the ZooBomb but had been thwarted by medical support. The wait made it all the more awesome. Down thru the dark cutting corners tight, hugging close to the handle bars, ass clamped to my ductaped on seat and cranking on my big chainring cuz I needed more speed.

Then down to the Max, standing waiting at the top of a four block drop counting down the traffic light in the middle and then the Hellway. Sixty or seventy bikes taking the Freeway in a pack. Holy shizzle I don't know how fast we were going except that the cars seemed to be passing us really slow until we exited through the tunnel. Then the architecture and the lights whipping past at a sickening speed.

Aaagh so close to deth so alive

Can't wait to go back


Photo Links

Chris B


ZooBombs Tiago

Ions excellent photo page

Cranked Mag Launch!


Four MC3 ambassadors left for Destination Seattle around noon last Saturday. The sun was shining, the first time in 27 days. The rays were absorbed as a sign of good times ahead.

The Red Barron roared south, radio-less, packed full of biker love. Representing “The Canadians” was Cara, Amy, Lee and Nicole.

We crossed over with no hassles or questions (?we think it the cowboy hat?) and entered into the land of the free. Our first destination was a small town about half way to pick up cheap beer and our favorite American battery/drink: Sparks! The cash attendant told us about a super hot drink: a shot of Jagger in a glass of Red Bull. You heard it right folks, this is gunna be huge!

We realized fairly quickly that none of us brought a map of Seattle. Nobody seemed too worried; we knew the force would be with us. A little later… !! ... we arrived to Dead Baby Soren’s pad. ... the party began!! Neko arrived, bikes were borrowed, and we set off to the Cranked Magazine Release/Post Race Party held at the Rendezvous. We soon found the cranked boyz themselves: Mike, Jason, Matt and Justin.

We arrived just as they were announcing the winners of the race (that we unfortunately missed due to our notorious pace). Huge shout outs to everyone where made... much trans-national biker respect! More Dead Babies were at the bar and kept the party rowdy: Stephanie, Woody, Peter, more names of special people I don’t remember… (I’m just learning!). $6 pitchers and sneaking beers in (and getting caught repeatedly) made the night extra fun. Wooo!

The following morn we all met for some good grub and Bloody Mary’s to get ride of the shakes. We then went to visit Bike Works (, where Soren is working right now. It’s a fabulous space for bike building and bike education with an emphasis on kids. Super-duper-Americana-moca-latte-soy-double-shot later, full of bike love and super cool magazines… we replaced Lee with Neko… and we were on the road again.

Oh, I almost forgot. At the boarder we were sooo tired of idling the engine (1 hour 15 min wait to get into Canada!??!!) we turned the car off, put it in neutral, and pushed the car by hanging one foot each out the door. Imagine! The dude behind us even copied us. Ya ya!

Special thanks to all of our American tour guides, party hosts, Sparks suppliers, house hosts and fellow evil-doers, WE LOVE YOU! Everyone, check out the 1st Cranked! ( and Cara has copies)

Reporting for the Canadians

Tall Bike Christmas


It was a tall bike Christmas.

Liz, Gavins wife, asked me to make him a tall bike. I like to do this, make bikes for people. The fun is in taking my time, letting the bike come together, not really stressing and just making them pretty. I painted this one dark blue and added a chrome steal rim in the frame, ovalized for max attract.

I scheduled delivery for xmas eve and the bike was a suprise. I invited Pol B to join me on the delivery. I rigged up this little trailer and hitched it to my tall bike. Pol was on his tall parade bike and after a beer or two we set out to cycle across the city. We went the long way so we could cruise the drive. It was fun to shock people out of their consumer frenzy and give them somethng real to smile and laugh about.

 Posted by Picasa We delivered the bike and Gavin was super happy.

Jack, MC3 member at large, was spotted on his tall bike. Yeah this happens all the time, people are always saying stuff like this to me. "Hey I saw this guy on a tallbike at such and such a place". Yeah yeah I say what color was it? What part of town? Yadayada..etc Then I identify the rider and get to say, I helped build that bike....Any way....The reason I mention the Jack sighting is becasue the tall bike rider in question was on the SEA TO SKY HIGHWAY on his way to Whistler.


Jack drops in with this movie file but no story.

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